Reflections on 'The Six Counterintuitive Rules' - 6

RULE #6: DIRECT IS KIND. HAVE THE HARD CONVERSATION — EARLIER THAN YOU THINK YOU NEED TO.

People can grow and change at any point in their career. But I believe most people haven’t been given the chance to do so because they haven’t gotten honest feedback. No one’s held up a mirror to them about their work, how they impact others, and the things standing in the way.

Humans don’t like having hard conversations. We build them up in our heads, and then we try to couch them in a lot of useless language that makes it hard for everybody to understand what’s going on. One of the biggest management skills to work on is being direct with people.If you start that habit early, it gets a lot easier to have direct conversations with people. But if you wait until something’s really not working, then you end up surprising your direct reports and having worse conversations that are much more stressful.

I always write down the number one message that a person needs to hear and understand. Then I try to make sure I say it a couple times in the conversation. The following week, I’ll actually have that person repeat it back to me to make sure we’re on the same page. If you can hear back the same messages that you were trying to send, then you know you’re on the same page. That’s when you can start to focus on what you’re both going to do about it.

Inspiration 6: Being direct with people

If a team member has a problem, it’s essential to have an honest conversation with them, even if it’s not something one is inclined to do. Candid communication is not only beneficial to the organization but also an opportunity for personal improvement. Avoiding communication and attempting to solve problems independently may work for a short time, but it is not a sustainable approach and may result in bigger losses in the long run.

Done